How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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