is your mom at the bar?
one two three fourrrrnication!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
