I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
