I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
