shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
