jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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