the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
