i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
