I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize