So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
