Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
