Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
