OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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