trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
