Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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