rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
