Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
