How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
