I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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