I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
