I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
