Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Houston, we have a blender
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
