I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
