Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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