barbara walters just said penis...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
there is puke in my bra ... again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
