Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
