I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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