I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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