guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
