i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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