I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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