this beer tastes like vomit already
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize