I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Still dying that you shit outside
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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