does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
