I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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