it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there's paper in my vomit.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
