i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
