but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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