long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
