don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
