And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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