i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
