hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i barfeds in our rink
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
