Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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