he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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