i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
