I'm so fucking centered right now
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my being single is dangerous.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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