My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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