And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
