I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
