We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
