never play flip cup with pint glasses
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
