i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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