I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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