Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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